Tajuk ni dah macam remp-it kan?amaran : ini entry mengenang kisah lama. Kalau rasa tak nak muntah hijau, sila jangan baca.I met him years back. Let call him Y. We used to be lovers. Dulu dulu kan ada IRC. Kalau tak silap aku, aku kenal dia kat dalam chatroom ********.
Hoh..dah macam Mastika la plak ade banyak asteriks.The first time I met him, was at this gig in Ipoh. Dia sangat baik hati. He even introduce me to all his friends. Agak romantik jugak la *tuih* It was sort of love at first sight. Tapi sampai satu ketika, all that I can think was that he loves me too much. And me being me, tak alih alih rasa macam it is too good to be true.
So I called it off. I found somebody else and broke his heart - the hard way. Masa tu memang la aku tak rasa apa apa. Tapi as I get older, memang la aku rasa amat bersalah sebenarnya....
Long after that awful breakup, a mutual friend told me how 'well' he took the break -up. Sangat sangat awful ok. He would lepak tepi highway for hours. Kadang kadang tak makan. Tak bercakap. I don't really know how it affect his studies, tapi seharusnya teruk jugak la kan..Dan di situ aku mula rasa bersalah yang amat amat sangat. But I can't lie to myself. I can't love him as much as he loves me. Itu sebabnya aku back off sebelum we both fall into a heavy mess. I always think he would hate me for that.
Fast forward ke 10 tahun selepas itu.
Oleh kerana kawan kawan kami berada di dalam lingkungan yang sama, belum la pernah aku lost contact dengan dia. Every now and then jumpa, tanya khabar. Things like that.
I still respects him as a friend and a brother figure. And maybe it is because out of my respect for him, I can never refer myself as "AKU" when talking to him. Rasa sangat kasar.
He is always a happy chap. Jarang nampak dia sedih. Ataupun mungkin dia pandai simpan dalam hati. Very loving and loyal. Childish and silly sometimes. It is not too much to say that he is somebody you can consider as a husband la.....*sila orang itu jangan kembang*
And as for now, I am very comfortable having him as a good friend. We can talk mostly about everything under the sun. I learned that dia takde berdendam dengan aku and very forgiving. Walaupun seingat aku, belum pernah aku minta maaf kat dia. He never judge me and accept me as who I am.
One of his many dream is being realized at the moment. It was sad for me that I can't be there to witness it but I am no less than happy for him. For you my friend, have no doubt if you think you have found the right one, be it life or love..But of course, you being YOU, always fall too deep into love. But I will always pray that you won't be stuck in the deep heart-broken-pit anymore. It hurts me to see you in that situation.
and I wish you happiness....coz you deserves that....
Huh..tapi lawak seluar dalam getah longgar adalah sangat keji ok?!
